A New Kind of Anxiety

Hi all, how are you?

I’m feeling slightly anxious. But I think it’s the good kind of anxious. It is the good kind of anxious. I will start my first night shift as a doctor today and it’s exciting. It’s exciting because it is a new experience for me. And I really do believe that you learn lessons from new experiences that you did not even know existed. I aim to grow a lot over the next few days and I’m really excited to do so.

Y’know that feeling of anxiety – I think society has always tried to make us believe that that feeling is a bad one. That it comes from a bad place and that it results in bad things. But I don’t think that that is necessarily the case. For me, the anxiety shows me that I am stepping outside of my comfort zone and I will be proud of myself when I have completed this new experience. It shows me that I am living and care about my day-to-day experiences. It shows me that: with every new experience, I have the opportunity to be better. A better human, Muslim, doctor … or whatever.

I guess that most nerve-wrecking things about night shifts is that you are alone. You don’t get much help from others. But I guess that’s why you grow so much during night shifts. Remember before when I really wanted that clinical experience in Johannesburg, SA to prepare me for this day? To be honest, I think I am ready. And I am grateful for being ready. Thank you, God.

Also, I guess the anxiety is a great means to get closer to God. Over the last day, I have been more indulged in literature and resources that remind me of God and my relationship with Him. I think that this anxiety will make me more reliant Him – as to destroy any attachments of have with anything but Him. Thank you for this opportunity.

I am ready for this night shift! Let’s do this!

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